For a good year, fear stood in my way of adventure. I held off on journeying to the places we wanted to go. See, the furthest we had traveled was to Maui, during our babymoon of my first pregnancy. As you know, after the loss, I was devastated. It was the last happy place that I remember being, with memories that were unforgettable, and unfortunately the only ones I have. The decision to return made me fearful. I rejected the idea on our babymoon with London, yet we always dreamt of bringing our baby to that very place that meant so much to us.
For the past 3 months, (well 12 months if you include the pregnancy), my brain has been consumed with all things baby related. What exactly would we need, in terms of strollers, clothing, and other baby gear? It’s overwhelming to say the least, and the fact that we live in NYC makes space so limited. Ever since baby London arrived on the scene, I’ve definitely limited the baby gear down to my favorites and must-haves. Please keep in mind that while each baby is different, here are my favorite products that work best for us. You may find that your child may have their own list of must-haves. I thought that I would share ours, in hopes that it would help you on the journey to Mama-ville.
Over two weeks have passed since the birth of baby London, and I’ve officially crossed over the the other side. Hello Mamaville! Yes, I believe it’s actually a destination. From my birth story to postpartum thoughts and all the feels, here’s the report.
August 2nd, 2019. That day goes down as the sweetest in our lives. At 4:47pm, our rainbow baby boy London Martin, came bursting into the world.
On a recent warm, summer Sunday, I sat at the fountain at Lincoln Center. It was the very same spot, that we sat, facing each other last year, around midnight, after receiving the most soul crushing news of our lives. (You may remember the photo. I’ll never forget it.) An exact year has gone by, and this summer day feels much different. We are in that very same spot, but I feel the warm, rays of the sun beating down on us. I hear the fountain trickling behind us, but more importantly, I place my hand on my very round belly, to feel the kicks of our growing baby boy.
October 30th. It was my due date. A day that was supposed to bring me joy. In my mind, I would be holding a baby boy in my arms. October 30th. Now a day that I’ve been dreading, ever since my story changed. The pages turned faster than I could stop them, and the story abruptly ended. I won’t have the happily ever after that I spent my days dreaming of…yet.
As I watch the sunrise, from the airplane window, I reflect upon our recent Babymoon to non other than our favorite destination, Maui.
Peace out abs! Hello boobs…and baby belly. As I’ve watched many of my girlfriends go through pregnancy, this seems to be a conversation had only over coffee talk. “My body just doesn’t feel the same. It takes some getting used to,” they’ve said. I always wondered how I would deal, when it was my turn. Now it is. Now I’m dealing.