Over two weeks have passed since the birth of baby London, and I’ve officially crossed over the the other side. Hello Mamaville! Yes, I believe it’s actually a destination. From my birth story to postpartum thoughts and all the feels, here’s the report.
The Birth Story
Throughout my pregnancy and life in general, one of the mottos I live by is “expect the unexpected.” I repeat this to myself often, mostly to avoid disappointment as well as to keep me on my toes, knowing that life can throw some major curve balls from time to time. My goal in this pregnancy was for a natural birth, although at the end of the day, I just wanted a happy, healthy baby. I went in without a specific birth plan, but with a strong preference for a vaginal birth. My doctor was aware of my wishes however we agreed that we would choose whichever path was safest during delivery. Unfortunately by 39 weeks, I did not dilate much, and London had not dropped at all. The plan was for induction, as I had an elevated level of amniotic fluid. An earlier delivery was our best and safest bet.
I went into the hospital for induction, and was in labor for 3 days. I couldn’t have food; only clear liquids. The dilation process was slow, and by the time I got to 9 centimeters (I needed to be at 10cm to proceed with the vaginal birth), and they broke my water, the baby still had not dropped. My doctor came in one last time, and told me we needed to do a c-section 20 minutes later. I agreed and trusted her opinion. At that point my body was exhausted, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could go on. It took all of my strength to last throughout the final 12 hours and I wanted to give up, but pushed through regardless. We proceeded with the c-section as it was best for the baby.
I remember the moment I agreed. Tears trickled down my cheeks and my entire body was shaking. I continued to shake throughout the delivery. Although the doctors said it could be a result of the anesthesia, I knew that it was due the overwhelming amount of emotion the rushed over me. I had been waiting for the moment I could meet our little boy for what seemed like eternity. I was wheeled into the operating room alone. I knew I could do this. Grant followed soon after. I promised myself not to be afraid of the unknown. I originally wanted a natural delivery as I felt much more in control of my own body, versus going through the operation where I had zero control. Needless to say, it wasn’t my way, but I got through it.
The two best parts of it all, were having Grant by my side, and hearing that angel cry for the very first time. I will never forget the love, or the rush of emotions that enveloped me that day, as we met our newborn son. It was my dream come true. *If you’d like to see the entire birth story, I’ve shared the video as a “highlight” on my Instagram profile, @sleeplessinsequins. You can view it there.
During the journey through motherhood, I hope to be the best version of myself, and the most loving mother possible to London. I also strive to be an “on the go” mom, with the goal of eventually incorporating my daily life and my own goals, while raising a child. Nothing is perfect, and life adjustments take time, but this new adventure and little baby is one I’ve been waiting for. So sleep deprived or not, I’m ready, and I welcome it with open eyes and an open heart.