Fashion, Lifestyle, Pregnancy

The Teeny Secret We’ve Been Keeping

July 7, 2019
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On a recent warm, summer Sunday, I sat at the fountain at Lincoln Center. It was the very same spot, that we sat, facing each other last year, around midnight, after receiving the most soul crushing news of our lives. (You may remember the photo. I’ll never forget it.) An exact year has gone by, and this summer day feels much different. We are in that very same spot, but I feel the warm, rays of the sun beating down on us. I hear the fountain trickling behind us, but more importantly, I place my hand on my very round belly, to feel the kicks of our growing baby boy.

Yes, you read that right! See, we’ve been keeping this teeny secret from you since November. To be completely honest with you, I was traumatized by my first pregnancy, and uncertain that I could dig myself out of a hole that deep. I shared my story with you, and your words and love helped me heal. I can’t thank you enough for that. With a whole lot of faith, trust in myself, coupled with incredible friends and family, I found my wings again.

I haven’t written much in the past 9 months. Although exciting, I still found it difficult to share the news, challenging to write the words, and just hopeful that this pregnancy would go smoothly. I’ve been on the edge of my seat, and felt the need to protect myself, in order to get through this next journey of ours. As much as I love sharing my life in this very small corner of the world, I knew it was what would be best for me.

So, if you’ve been watching my Instastories, you know that I’ve been talking a little more about lip gloss, and a whole lot less about life lately. If you’ve noticed my cheeks slowly expanding across your screen, or I’m huffing and puffing, sounding as if I’m climbing Mt. Everest while just walking down the street, don’t let me fool you. Yes, my cheeks have gotten bigger, but I haven’t been eating too many tacos (or maybe I have). The champagne replaced by bright red cocktails are actually mocktails, because… I am officially nine months pregnant! Less than four weeks until Grant & I meet our baby boy, due August 5th, 2019, and we are thrilled!

I can’t believe I’m even writing this, and what’s more…I cannot believe it’s happening. The journey has been an incredibly challenging one for both of us, but I’ll admit that I’ve fallen in love all over again. My belly is now back and bigger than ever. To say that I am grateful beyond words is an understatement.

I now fully understand the complicated, emotional ride that couples go through to create families of their own. To the women out there, on this seemingly endless journey; practice patience and have some faith. I know the pain, and I understand the tears. The ones the ache, and the ones that make your heart explode with happiness. I have been in your shoes, and I have felt both. Your story is your own. No one can take that away from you. Remember that.

As teeny tiny booties, onesies, and bottles fill our apartment, it’s become so real to me that this little life is on it’s way. My heart is full. To our growing baby boy, we cannot wait hold you, to love you, to squeeze your chubby little cheeks, to teach you, and to hold your tiny hand, as we walk with you through the sweetest moments of life. I’ve been dreaming of you little one, and I’m counting the days until your rest your head in my arms. I cannot wait to be your mama. Until then…“I’ll love you forever. I’ll like you for always. As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.”

*The photos below were taken throughout my pregnancy. Although I haven’t shared the entire journey with you, here are the snippets of our favorite moments. xx

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Lincoln Center, on the day I wrote about above

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NYE 2019 – 8 weeks

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Grant’s Birthday – 9 weeks

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Staycation at The Greenwich Hotel – 12 weeks

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Miami – 20 weeks

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Miami – 20 weeks

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Miami – 20 weeks

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Miami – 20 weeks

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Miami – 20 weeks

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Miami – 20 weeks

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Miami – 20 weeks

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Central Park

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Hudson River

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Secret Garden

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Secret Garden

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Dumbo, Brooklyn – 30 weeks

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Westport, Connecticut

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Central Park Picnics

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Baby Lunch Dates

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Tavern on the Green, celebrating 15 yrs in NYC – 30 weeks

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J.Crew Baby Shower – 34 weeks

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