Lifestyle, Motherhood

Searching for Answers

September 19, 2019

Lately I’ve given much thought to a simple phrase I’ve heard throughout my life, mostly when it comes to brand new challenges. “You know what to do.” I’ve heard these words spoken in the very beginning of my career, often accompanied with,”figure it out.” Everyone says this to me. The confidence is appreciated, however I feel as though it’s the theme of my life. I’ll admit that when I asked a question or felt lost, and received either of these two responses, it left me with my wheels spinning. I’d ask for advice, but would come out completely empty handed. As a result, I’d feel fairly overwhelmed.

In a recent phone conversation with my mom, which inspired this post, I asked for advice.“Mom, how do I even do this? How do I learn to be a mother? There’s so much that I don’t know. How do I figure it all out?” Her reply was of course, “You know what to do, honey.” She has faith in me. If she has faith in me, then I must find the faith in myself. I know it’s there.

To me, this common phrase throughout my life meant going back to the drawing board; studying, researching, most of all soul searching, and finding my own answers. It wasn’t easy, but always I did, at the end of the day, “know what to do.” Many times it’s having the faith and confidence in yourself to get out there and find the solutions. It often leads you on a journey of self discovery as well. I’ll admit that I’ve never learned much from being given the answers. When I did learn the most is by trying, failing, falling flat on my face (many times), and teaching myself the way. I had to trust myself, which isn’t always easy.

If you wonder exactly which scenario I speak of, there isn’t one specific moment in general. It’s about life, at any stage. Feel free to apply this theory when you feel a bit lost, whenever and wherever that may be.

At this moment, for me, it’s motherhood. As I hold my baby boy in my arms as he sleeps, I want to know everything. I want all the answers. I look at his face and want to know all about him, so I can solve all his problems, and wipe away his tears. I keep scraping for answers, reading articles, asking questions. I come up empty handed. It’s because I need to “figure it out,” and it will take time. I need to trust in myself, and gather my confidence. The first few weeks feel shaky, but I’m hoping that eventually I’ll be able to cut my training wheels loose, and enjoy the ride.

So even if your journey isn’t the same as mine at the moment, think this one through. When did you learn the most in your own life? It was YOU that got you to your destination, right? And didn’t you respect yourself even more for getting there? The adventures through this thing called life, can be rocky, but there’s almost always a light at the end of the tunnel, if you push yourself to get there. Trust me, I’m on the same rocky adventure as you, so I’ll leave you with this…”We absolutely do know what to do.” Trust in that my friends…trust in that.

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