Peace out abs! Hello boobs…and baby belly. As I’ve watched many of my girlfriends go through pregnancy, this seems to be a conversation had only over coffee talk. “My body just doesn’t feel the same. It takes some getting used to,” they’ve said. I always wondered how I would deal, when it was my turn. Now it is. Now I’m dealing.
Fitness, health, and wellness have always been a top priority in my life. Body image has been a challenge of mine, for as long as I can remember, just as it is for many. Before pregnancy, I was always careful about what I ate…restrictive more times than others. Gym rat? Definitely! Although fitness has become much more than just focusing on my appearance. I depend on it to strengthen my body and mind. However, I knew my body well, and was aware of what I could get away with, and what I couldn’t.
Until now. I promised myself, that the day I became pregnant, I would change my mindset for my body, for my brain, but mostly for my baby. I put my scale in the closet, and vowed not to focus on numbers. For some, tracking numbers may be beneficial. For me, it’s mentally destructive…especially now. I’ve now chosen to listen to body, giving it and feeding it what it needs. I started eating more than I used to, when my body needed to. I used to eat two, tiny meals a day, workout for a few hours, and run on…rocket fuel, maybe? I don’t know.
What I do know, is that right now, I can’t get away with it…and I don’t want to. Watching my body change, faster than I can find new outfit, has been a challenge for me on some days. Nothing, and I mean nothing in my closet fits. My toned abs are no longer, and if I glance down, my body is one giant belly, and my feet don’t exist…or at least I can’t see them. There are days that I feel beautiful, and others that are a struggle. I wonder if I’ll ever feel the same again. Of course, I know that I will…but this is the journey. For me, it’s one I needed to learn.
I’ve kept up my fitness routine, with modifications, and although my body looks different and feels different when I move, I surprisingly feel as strong as ever. I’m not sure why ever I doubted myself. I’ve learned to trust my body. It knows what to do.
Today, I am grateful for this growing baby belly, for my new curves, and for all that it allows me to do, and I’m embracing this change. I know that there will be the day that I hold a little life in my arms, that I created in this growing body. For that I will be forever grateful.